no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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