We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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