Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse

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(519): View more from Ontario

Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...

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(216): View more from Ohio

there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay

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(806): View more from Texas

All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Who died my cat blue again?

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(716): View more from New York

Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.

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