At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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