This girl is more easily done than said...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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