It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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