I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize