my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
