I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
