I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
