Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
