I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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