PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
