oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
