Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
