I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
