If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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