Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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