then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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