I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
