sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
