$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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