Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
