talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What did we do last night that was yellow?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
