bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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