Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
