i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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