Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
