i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
