Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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