Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
