This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
