Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this just has baby written all over it
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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