don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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