Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
