Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
