clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
