Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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