Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
