You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
