every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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