No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
