where does the pee come out of this thing
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
