Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
