sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
