3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
