I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
