D3 body, D1 cock
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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