I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize