I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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