all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
