ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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