Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
