I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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