guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
