ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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