Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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