Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
