shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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